its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
