You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
