Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize