We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
