There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
