Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
