I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
