Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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