no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
