i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Let's paint friendship bongs
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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