i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
