I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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