Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
