She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
