gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
