2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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