no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
