is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
