Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
