we're blogging at a bar
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
