she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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