i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
