she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize