i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
