They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Screwed.edu
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
