so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
