i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
