You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
time to smoke my breakfast
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
