I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
