dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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