I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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