areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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