I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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