Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
