Swine flu. Run for my life!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
