Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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