Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
