Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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