i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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