Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
