When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
