We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Let's get the cat blown out
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
