Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
