Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
