you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize