It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
