i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
