When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
