I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
