are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
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I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Never joke about your clitoris.
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