Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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