After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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