I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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