The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
