Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
