Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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